John was sitting outside his local pub one day, …
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”
Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.
“How do you know this, Sister?”
“My Mother Superior told me so.”
“But have you ever cheap wow gold had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”
“Don’t be ridiculous–of course I have never taken alcohol myself”
“Then wow gold let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life”
“How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!”
“I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know.”
The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.
“Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks”, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman “and could you put the vodka in a teacup?”
“Oh no! It’s not that Nun again is it?”
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
“Excuse me,” he said, “have you lost something?”
“No,” replied one of the doctors. world of warcraft gold “We’re doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone.”
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Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994
1. Introduction
The following is world of warcraft gold a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, wow gold as those wow gold humans are always cheap wow gold up to some sort of mischief, wow gold but the compiler wow power leveling and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this wow gold document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.
2. Food
In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. world of warcraft gold The following are some guidelines for getting fed.
a) When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking.
b) Never eat food from your own bowl if you world of warcraft gold can steal some from the table.
c) Never drink from your own water bowl if a human’s glass is full enough to drink from.
d) The best times world of warcraft gold to inform humans of your dish’s emptiness are when they are unable to ignore you, such as when they are sleeping or on the toilet. wow power leveling If you insist on waking a human at what it considers a “ridiculously early hour” for breakfast, be warned that the human may be as likely to throw you outside or in the basement as to feed you.
e) Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to attempt to get to know it. Be insistent; your food will usually not be so world of warcraft gold polite and try to leave. If you can’t be cheap wow gold bothered to eat the food you’ve just caught, be considerate and don’t waste it; it makes a perfect gift for humans! Carefully pick it up and carry it to the human’s house and, if the door is closed, leave wow power leveling it on the doorstep. If the door is open, or there is a cat-flap, take it inside and leave it somewhere highly visible.
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