We hear you are a a Read the rest of this entry »

Q: How many university students does it take to change a lightbulb ?

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Q: How many boarding school students does does Read the rest of this entry »

It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

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It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.

Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.

Tissues are not to be found in the back of one’s car.

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A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a buy 2moons dil long-term long-term Read the rest of this entry »

After a power cabal online alz outage: Hi, this is Ralph. Read the rest of this entry »

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s maplestory mesos rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.

If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:

\mstv.dinn.//08.5min@@50%heat//

Then enter:

ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.

ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
<br Read the rest of this entry »

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

A: Take your foot off his head.

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The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement buy ao credits and asking for her photograph back.
<br back.
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10. Lower corner of screen has the words “Etch-a-sketch” on it.

9. It’s celebrity spokesman is that “Hey Vern!” guy.

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I can’t come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.

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Fifth Law of Procrastination: Read the rest of this entry »

Q: How many trainspotters does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to change it, one to write its serial number down, and one to bring the anoraks and the flask of soup.

Q: How many [cricket] Test Match Special commentators does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to change it, one to eat the lovely chocolate cake sent buy 2moons dil in by the Bournemouth Womens Institute, one to say “Now when was the last time we had to change a light bulb on-air - wasn’t it 1989 at Lords ?” and one to comment on the lovely red bus going FFXI Gil down the Oxford Road.

Q: Read the rest of this entry »

After shopping in a mall, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

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You want children?

Are You Ready for Children?

Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego’s. (If Lego’s Final Fantasy XI Gil are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a EQ Plat blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)

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Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came came Read the rest of this entry »

A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!

Nurse: What is it?

Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot lot Read the rest of this entry »

The two put together have an IQ over 150.

The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead.

There she sits, Finite State Automaton at its best.

There’s nothing wrong with you that couldn’t be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. — Woody Allen

They must have done a clean boot on him.

Thick FFXI Gil as a brick / whale omelette.
<br anarchy online credits cabal alz />Thick as pig dung and twice as smelly.

Thinks “Private Enterprise” means owning a personal starship.

Thinks a permutation is a medical procedure.

Thinks at 5 baud.

Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms.

Thinks E=MC^2 eve isk is a rap star.

Thinks everyone else is entitled to his opinion, like it or not.

thinks in lower case and types accordingly

Thinks like a boar hog looks at a wristwatch.

The government’s system system Read the rest of this entry »

Yo. I ain’t here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I’ll get back… (Sniff, sniff…) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good.

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for for Read the rest of this entry »

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.

About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on ao credits the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working Maple Story Mesos harder to make a living for himself and his family.

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“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling.

The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able Maple Story Mesos to buy a boat, boat, Read the rest of this entry »

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

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